Dead on arrival.

Websters dictionary states: Dead on arrival, also brought in dead, indicates that a patient was found to be already clinically dead upon the arrival of professional medical assistance.  When something is dead it is deprived of life: no longer alive. As I continued my search to see what this phrase actually meant. Merriam-Webster stated "having died before getting to a hospital or emergency room. Another version stated, "declared ineffective without ever having been put into effect."

This title “Dead on arrival”  came to me as I was working through the hurt and pain of facing my failed marriage. Trying to co-parent with a man that in one breath says "I love you" and the next breathe "I wish you were dead." Deep down in my heart I felt like I was losing it all. Although walking away from my marriage was the best thing I could have done for myself and my children. The enemy wanted me to believe I was missing out on something.

I had nightmares of arguments with my ex husband, waking up heart racing and feeling defeated. Anytime we would have any contact it always ended in an argument. It seemed like a storm I could not come out of. I had to get this under control it was starting to take over my life. Why was my past hanging so heavily over me? Had I not done the work to be freed from my past? Did a part of me still want my marriage? What was it? Did I do something wrong? Was it me? I had to take a step back and take a hard look at myself. 

This is when I heard "dead on arrival" whispered in my spirit. When someone is dead on arrival it means that when they arrived they were already deceased. No amount of reviving could save them. As I began to look back over my past I realized my marriage was DOA, dead on arrival. I was trying to revive a dead situation and each time I tried to administer CPR to this dead situation it only left me weak and broken. You see when you administer CPR you have to use a lot of your energy and physical strength to help save someones life. I was giving CPR to a situation that was already dead. The time of death had already been called. I was in denial. Denial will have you giving all of yourself to someone who can't give you anything in return.

When God placed this in my spirit it blessed my whole life. See the enemy wanted me to believe it was "something wrong with me" as to why my marriage failed. That maybe I wasn't good enough for someone to love me wholeheartedly. That maybe I had gained too much weight. That maybe I wasn’t pretty enough. That maybe I was too saved. Maybe I was too stuck up. Maybe I demanded too much from people. You get it by now. The enemy wanted me to forget who God said I was.  But God wanted me to see, "no, no daughter, that was dead the moment it arrived in your life. You avoided me when I tried to tell you "that’s not for you" and you preceded to take on the challenge. 

The thing is, God is the giver of life not me. I realized I was playing God. Trying to tell Him he had it wrong there was still life in my marriage, relationships, friendships or whatever the "it" was. Have you ever been in a situation that all the signs say dead end but you proceed anyway? Have you ever tried to hold on to something you knew you should let go of? Or maybe tried to fit into a situation that you knew you had outgrown? Yeah, me too! For me, it was recognizing the areas of my life that were dead that I kept trying to resuscitate. From friendships to my failed marriage, learning to know when to call the time of death is vital. As I get older I am learning to pay attention to when God is speaking. When it doesn’t feel right deep down on the inside it probably isn’t right. Learning to see the red flags for just what they are warnings.

After taking a look at myself in the eyes of who God says I am, I realized that it had nothing to do with me at all. I took on a task that was never meant for me. That no amount of reviving could save my marriage. It was never meant to be. I took on the challenge of trying to revive a dead situation and it only took the life out of me. The lesson in all of this is, to remember whose and who you are first. Then pay attention to the things that arrive in your life DOA. If it doesn’t add to your life then it is taking away from it. Trying to revive dead situations will only leave you weak and broken.

Let God be who he is and trust his process for your life. Also know that if you are like me and have been trying to revive dead situations in your life God can still use you.  I think this is one of the greatest things about God that even when we go our own route, He is there to help us pick up the pieces. He’s there to revive us when we’ve given all of ourselves to dead situations.  I can’t change my past but I can decide how it shapes my future. The storms that come in our lives whether by our choices or by Gods allowing are all apart of your purpose. Sometimes it's there to remove us from unstable places and other times it's their to reveal the rock we are firmly planted on. Through it all I'm still standing. God is still in control!

My final question for you is how many dead situations are you trying to resuscitate? This could be friendships, relationships, careers,

My homework for you

1) Lean into who God says you are.

2) Call the time of death on those dead situations in your life.

3) Choose to live in Gods promises for your life.

Blessings

Monique

Posh Mom Indy